


There Is A Light That Will Never Go Out

by bumkeyk (jellybeans707)



Category: SHINee
Genre: 80s AU, Alcohol, Depeche Mode References, It's the most self indigent thing I've written, Jinki is a rich son, Joy Division (Band) Refrences, Kibum is a sad alt boy, Kim Kibum | Key - Freeform, Lee Jinki | Onew - Freeform, M/M, Mentions of sex work, SHINee - Freeform, Song Lyrics, The Cure (Band) References, The Smiths (Band) Refrence, alternative universe, self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:53:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24994954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeans707/pseuds/bumkeyk
Summary: Kibum is the lead singer of a band and Jinki is the son of a rich family. One fated night Jinki and Kibum cross paths and each of their lives are changed forever. What happens when their paths cross for one night? An 80s au loosely song related.
Relationships: Kim Kibum | Key/Lee Jinki | Onew
Kudos: 9





	There Is A Light That Will Never Go Out

**Author's Note:**

> This is the finished piece for This Charming Man. It has changed alot since then. Please enjoy, make sure to leave comments and kudos!

"Shit this party is so boring".

Jinki stood in the corner of his father's 60th birthday party. The guest list was full of his father’s business partners and future investors for his next business venture. Jinki didn't see the need to be here since his father made it very clear he wanted no part of him near the business, but his mother insisted. Watching her flirt mercilessly with the catering staff was getting unbearable however, she does this every time. He takes another sip of the champagne in his hand and looks around. He spots his mother chatting with the daughter of the Vice President and gesturing to him. Oh, bother not again. She drags the girl by the arm and b lines for him. He looks for an exit, but he's cornered.

"Jinki there is someone I would like you to meet! This is Cindy, the daughter of the VP. I heard you both have a lot in common!"

She winks and then leaves them both alone. Cindy's body language tells Jinki that she is actually interested in this exchange. He giggles to himself and gulps down the rest of his champagne.

"Sooooo, it's your dad's 60th! You all must be really excited to celebrate, especially with his health scare last year and all!"

She scoots closer to him and smiles sheepishly. Jinki couldn't wrap his mind around what she was thinking.

"To tell you the truth I'm not interested in small talk. I've been watching you all night. You looked lonely over here, so I asked your mom to introduce us. Come on we're young, rich and powerful, mighty as well make the most of it. I'm sure you feel the same way. Why wait? I know you've got a room upstairs, let’s go have some fun."

She strokes his arm and glances up at him. Her body language is seductive, but her eyes betray her, she's nervous. He knows what he's about to say is gonna crush her but couldn't care less.

"If you want to get fucked tonight, I recommend Mr. Williamson. I heard he likes them young and uh flat chested."

Jinki can see she's about to explode on him he retreats and b lines for the first tray carrying champagne. He sees his mother toting away a fuming Cindy as folks begin to gather for a toast. Jinki's father takes the attention of the room.

"Thank you all for coming to this gathering for my birthday. As you all know I am taking on a new venture in the next year and I am happy to share this exciting time with you all. It comes at a time of celebration, as most of you know I had a major health scare last year and happy to report that I am on the mend. I cherish my life and the future I get to make for this company and for you all. Now don't you worry about me now, I'm as strong as an ox! Cheers to health and the future!"

Everyone raises a glass and shouts cheers. The future of the company huh? Jinki thinks of the things his father said to him earlier, that definitely was a dig at the fact he's here. Jinki downs the last of his champagne and picks up another as he walks out of the room. In the hallway he sees the caters frantically setting up for desserts and other finger foods. Before he can reach for a tiny pineapple upside down cake, he hears his mother's frantic footsteps behind him. Fuck.

"You ought to be ashamed of yourself! Drinking like a maniac and telling that girl such foul things! And at your father’s birthday no less! Have you no decency? I raised you better!"

He turns around to his mother red in the face with anger.

"Isn't this party just splendid? So many egos and mistresses in the same room! I wonder which mistress has the golden child, the heir of the company!"

She smacks the glass from his hand, and it shatters on the floor. The sound is muffled over the sounds of people talking and the DJ spinning a new song. 

"I brought you a good girl so that your father can stop complaining! I gave you an opportunity to change that attitude right around! This is the biggest day for your father in years and you're trying to ruin it with your little attitude. You know your father only wants the best for you!" 

Jinki stares at her with a blank expression. How the fuck cares if we want the best, its only under his terms. His mother huffs at his lack of a response, here it comes. 

"Well if that's the case get out! Don't you dare ruin this night for your father! Get out I said! Come back when you've learned how to behave!"

She stomps away toward the housekeeper and he knows what's going to happen.

"No need! I'm leaving on my own! Don't fucking touch me!"

He stumbles toward the front of the house, watching the horrid looks on the faces of the people coming in. He pushes past them and steps outside. The whip of fall night air hits him as he pushes forward. Where the fuck is, he even gonna go? All his kiss ass "friends" are inside trying to get jobs and make connections. He hesitates and sees the family driver smoking next to the car.

"Hey Neils! Drive me to the city! Take me anywhere! I wanna get fucked up!"

Perplexed, the driver agrees and walks to the driver's side. Jinki opened the car door and falls in the car. His head is throbbing, but he couldn't care less. He needed to feel anything but what he was feeling right now. He closes his eyes and lets the gentle hum of the car help him calm down. The lights of the freeway shine into the car and the cool air helps Jinki's mind ease. After what feels like hours the driver stops. Jinki sits up and looks at the run-down place in front of him. This is what he asked for.

"Thanks, Neils. Go on home now."

Jinki gets out the car and stumbles in. He isn't in the best shape when he gets there but he really doesn't give a shit. He stumbles up to the bar and asks for a beer. He looks around and takes a swig of his drink. This place is not the places that he is used to. It's rugged and dirty. He feels so out of his element. There's a couple at the bar arguing and a drunk man passed out on the floor. Jinki spots a table in front of a tiny stage and slumps in a chair. His heart is racing but he tries to play it off. A group of grungy looking musicians walk up on stage. Jinki has never seen someone wearing so much black and their hair was so big and messy. The band starts to set up and there he was. His bangs fall into his eyes while he helps plug in an amp, joking with the bassist. His eyes light up with laughter, the sound hitting Jinki's ears like music. The boy finishes making some adjustments and then steps up to the mic. Jinki turns further to them and the boy takes the mic stand into his hand. The band begins to play and it's a song Jinki doesn't recognize but he can't help but feel entranced.

_"So goodbye. Please stay with your own kind. And I'll stay with mine." (The Smiths Miserable Lie, 1986)_

Jinki is absolutely intrigued as the boy sings with such passion. The soft way he wales into the mic, his lips forming words he couldn't comprehend in his state. Jinki was far too drunk to understand exactly what was happening to him. His whole body responds, feeling as if he was in a trance. Jinki feels his body slowly leaning toward the boy on stage, captivated. The boy notices Jinki and makes eye contact with him and winks. Electricity courses through him as he smiles, Jinki was too drunk for this.

_"I recognize that mystical air, it means I'd like to seize your underwear. What do we get for our trouble and pain? Just a rented room at Whalley Range."_

The tempo has picked up and he has come to life, dancing around the little stage he has. No one else is paying attention to them but Jinki can't get enough. He wants to reach out to him and see if he's real. Jinki didn't know what was coming over him as he sat down in this chair, his head spinning, intoxicated by the boy on stage and the alcohol in his system. He doesn't want this moment to end, he doesn't want to lose him. His voice is haunting, and he just can't tune him out. The boy on stage moves to the center of the stage and looks Jinki in the eyes and winks again, he was definitely teasing him now. Jinki's heart moves faster and he can barely keep himself seated as the song ends. He takes a gulp of beer and watches as the band gets ready for the next song. He didn't think his heart could handle another song but here he is. He takes the mic again and Jinki is at the edge of his seat.

_"I degree today that life is simply taking and not giving. England is mine and it owes me a living." (The Smiths Still Ill 1984)_

The boy on stage continues to captivate Jinki and he felt his heart would bust. What was this feeling that he was experiencing? Jinki couldn't think straight as the boy on stage continues to tease and captivate Jinki as his only supporter. Jinki was the only one paying attention to them and the boy on stage knew that. Jinki couldn't let his eyes leave this boy, he was afraid he'll never see him again.

_"Does the body rule the mind or does the mind rule the body, I dunno."_

Jinki feels the boy singing to a part of his soul, he was completely captivated. The other bar patrons look at him and laugh. He stuck out like a sore thumb in this bar, yearning over a song he's never heard before. Jinki feels their looks and tries to regain his composure. After three more songs the band began to whine down. Jinki was horrified at the thought of losing the boy on stage.

 _"_ Thank you all so much. I hope you've enjoyed us tonight. Catch us next week right here! We've been Guilty Pleasure, goodnight."

The boy begins to help the band pack up as two pairs of eyes were glued to his back. Jinki was absolutely a wreck as he realized his moment with the boy was over. He felt a tinge if guilt and sorrow when the thought crossed his mind, he will never see him again. He chugged the rest of his beer and got up to leave. His mother must be a wreck for kicking him out but fuck her. He should go home before the sun rises, who knows what would happen if he didn't. Boy did his mom have a temper. Before he could leave out the door, he felt a hand lightly tap him on the shoulder.

"Hey. Join me for a smoke?"

Jinki looks at the boy in front of him speechless. He was even more breathtaking up close. He shakes his head yes as he walks outside with him. The boy sits on the curb as he pulls out a lighter. He passes Jinki a cigarette, but he declines. The boy lights the cigarette and takes a long drag before turning to Jinki. 

"What's your name? Why are you singing here?"

Jinki looks around before he takes a seat next to him. 

"I can tell you're not from around here. You can call me Key and this is just something I do for a living. I enjoy it."

He takes another drag of his cigarette and gives a glance over of the man next to him.

"Why are you here? You obviously don't belong at a place like this."

"Well I'm drunk and my mom kicked me out of the house, so I went anywhere. I wanted to get fucked up."

Kibum looks closer at the man next to him. His hair is disheveled from running his fingers through it, his eyes are blank, a sadness lingers there. The bags under his eyes make him look older, yet he couldn't be much older than Kibum. He wondered where exactly where he came from. Maybe it was fate.

"Well I know what that is like. What do you call yourself, drifter?"

Jinki looks taken back by the nickname and stares into the distance.

"I'm Jinki. I don't have a cool stage name -hic-."

Kibum puts out the cigarette and turns to him. He's baffled by this man, yet he's intrigued by him. There is something different about him. He should be like the men Kibum used to see on a regular basis but somehow, he is different. Maybe it’s just cause he's younger. 

"How much longer do you think you'll be running away from home? Your hangover is gonna be hell, lemme buy you some food at least."

Jinki looks over at Kibum and leaps to his feet. The velocity alone from that could send him to projectile vomit all over the street but he keeps it in.

"Sure. I don't have anywhere to be, I'm as free as the wind"

Jinki was definitely drunker than he thought. Who the fuck even says that? Kibum slowly gets up and motions to his car. He realizes this boy isn't gonna make it that far. He wraps his arm around his waist and Jinki feels a sense shock go through his body. He's not uses to this kind of warmth around him. He tries not to shiver into the sensation, but he doesn't have much control of his body as it is. Kibum helps him into the passenger seat. Kibum slips into the driver seat and pops a cassette into the player.

" _You knew very well what was coming next." (The Smiths I Don't Owe You Anything, 1984)_

Jinki picked his head up as the car kicked into gear. Kibum was singing the words so passionately. He wonders how he got to the point to sing such sad words with such power and conviction.

"How do you sing with so much passion?"

"Cause I'm good at it! Why else?"

That definitely wasn't the response he was looking for. 

"What about you? Got any hidden talents?"

He glances over at Jinki while humming along to the songs. Jinki realized in that moment that he was trying his hardest not to throw up in this boy’s car.

"Hey Jinki, I asked you a question."

Jinki couldn't focus on the conversation Kibum was trying to start as he was too busy trying not to ruin his car.

"Can we pull over for a moment?"

"Hm?"

Kibum sees his sweaty pale face, he knows all too well what's coming.

"I think I need to puke."

"Oh, shit um hold on."

Kibum pulls over to the side, he checks to see if any cops are driving around. When the coast is clear he looks around and gives Jinki a nod. Jinki didn't understand but he opened the door anyway and unleashed the contents of his stomach. Kibum was used to it by now but the noise still made him a little queasy. Jinki felt like he was not only vomiting up the alcohol in his system, but also the terrible interactions with his family from earlier. Jinki now was empty and nauseous but feeling better. He wonders what his mother would say if she knew what he was doing right now.

"Are you good there buddy?"

"No but I feel better."

Jinki closes the door and looks around him. He'd never really paid attention when his family came into the city. This definitely wasn't the part of the city his family comes to, however. He feels more at peace here than at his home. The city feels like it’s alive, with a pulse and bloodstream. Kibum starts the engine again and they're zooming off. 

"Roll down your window. I'm sure the cool air will feel nice right now."

Jinki did as told and a wave of cool air hit him. Kibum continued to sing at his heart’s content as the city passed before them.

_"It's a question of lust, It's a question of trust. It’s a question of not letting what we built up crumble to dust."(Depeche Mode A Question of Lust 1986)_

Jinki was drunk on life, never seeing such a sight in his life. He begins to laugh and sticks his head out the window, letting all his fears leave him. Kibum glances over at a joyous Jinki with his head out the window, looking as if he could fall out at any second.

"Hey were almost there. Are you okay to walk on your own?"

Jinki isn't paying attention, too wrapped up in his own made up coming of age narrative.

"Ya! Earth to Jinki! Get your head back in the fucking car!"

Jinki snaps back to reality and pulls his head back in. He's a little embarrassed when he realizes what he's been doing.

"I must've looked like a real jackass doing that."

"Well were almost there. Can you walk at least?"

Jinki hesitates, he doesn't know why.

"No, I'm alright. I'm sobering up."

They pull into the parking lot of a small building. A few cars liter the area and a group of men chitchat by their cars. They're dressed like Kibum but Jinki pays it no mind. The diner isn't much, just a small place with a few booths and a counter. The white tiles and harsh lighting make Jinki's head spin. They slide into the nearest booth and grab the menus. He can barely concentrate on it, why did sobering up have to hurt so much.

"Here. I'm sure they'll bring us some water."

Kibum hands him a bottle of aspirin, it was the first time Jinki noticed his nails were painted black. Such a small detail of him was thrilling to Jinki, he must still be drunk. 

"You carry around aspirin?"

"Of course, I do. Why wouldn't you?" 

Jinki carefully opens the bottle and pours two out, careful not to make too much noise. The waitress comes over with water and the menus.

"Another night for you aye? You sure don't let up do you? You want the usual?"

Kibum looks unfazed at her harsh remark. His cool confidence was addictive. If anyone said that to him, he would have a complete meltdown. Jinki could hardly keep his mouth closed as he swallowed his medicine.

"What would you like sir?"

Jinki was too caught up in Kibum that he didn't even look at the menu.

"Uh I'll just have a waffle, thank you."

In this horrible lighting, Jinki could finally see Kibum in detail. His bright eyes and dark eye shadow making a bold statement. His lips covered in red lipstick, smudged from the evening. His eyebrows even, a scar right down the end. There really isn't anyone Jinki has ever seen like this. He is captivated by how different they are, dare he say the boy in front of him enchanted him with his dark beauty. He couldn't help but watch as the boy in front of him takes a sip of water. Watching his delicate lips touch the glass, a twinge of something in his body. He knows this feeling all too well, its jealousy. Before he could let it linger, he looks away, confused about what he is feeling. 

"Drink more water. It'll help the dehydration you're already fighting up against.

Kibum pauses and looks at Jinki more intensely. 

"Say what's with you anyway? Where did you even come from? You're not a regular at that bar that's for sure."

Jinki didn't know what to say. He didn't even understand what he was feeling or his motives. One moment he was sipping champagne at his parents’ house with his family and his being yelled at by his mother and the next minute he's wandering into a bar seeing Key and listening to his siren song.

"Well it doesn't matter. I'm just glad our paths crossed tonight."

Kibum reaches out his hand and lightly brushes it against Jinki's. Kibum was trying to see something. Jinki is the first to pull away, embarrassed to be so close to a man he doesn't know. Kibum lingers in the spot hoping to feel anything from him, though nothing comes of it. The waitress walks up with their food and he's forced to slide his hand away. The smell of fresh dough and butter hitting Jinki, he's suddenly he is very aware of his empty stomach. Kibum chuckles as he watches Jinki practically drool all over his food. He picks up a fry and carefully takes a bite, hoping to get the attention of the boy across from him. This wasn't unusual for Kibum, he uses to do stuff like this all the time. Jinki is too busy tearing this poor waffle to shreds so Kibum gives up.

"Do they even feed you up there? When was the last time you ate?" 

Jinki looks up at Kibum, pieces of waffle stuck to his face. He reaches for a napkin and wipes his face. 

"Ah sorry. Where are my manners?" 

Jinki puts down his silverware and looks at Kibum, his mouth closing in on a French fry. He looks down again, the jealous feeling coming back. His whole face way heating up and he hoped he hadn't noticed him blushing. They eat in silence, neither one of them could form a question to ask. Jinki's mind was running wild, who was this mysterious "Key" and why is he taking care of him? Kibum was amused by the boy in front of him. He was so obviously trying to keep his cool but failing miserably. Kibum wondered what Jinki really thought of him. 

"Jinki-" 

Jinki throws his head up, seeing the boy across from him making very intense and pointed eye contact with him. Hearing his name made his heart race. 

"Yes?" 

"Why this club? Telling from all this expensive shit you have on; you must've come a long way." 

Jinki couldn't process an answer but tried his best to make up some bullshit. 

"Well when you're drunk all sense of rationality leaves you doesn't it? I mean my mom kicked me out, where was I supposed to go?" 

Kibum leans closer to him, a fry in between his delicate fingers. 

"Why'd she kick you out? Does that happen often?" 

Jinki didn't know how to answer. He didn't want to give him his whole life story but surely not answering would only lead to more questions.

"Well sorta. This time it was cause I apparently wasn't on my best behavior. When she kicks me out usually, I have to be back by sunrise so she can apologize. It's kinda annoying." 

Kibum picks up another fry and munches quietly, Jinki watching him intensely. 

"Well where do you usually go? Is this time any different?" 

"Well usually I just crash at a friend’s place but they're busy tonight. I was drunk this time obviously, so things change. I know this time it’s probably most important to go home, I've gotta do some damage control." 

"Well I'll get you home in time then! Can't have mama mad, can we?" 

Kibum picks up a fry and slides the fry in Jinki's open lips. He turns beet red and looks down at the table. 

"Oh, don't be that way, we're just friends sharing food." 

Kibum's tone had changed, it was sly. Like a fox slinking toward their prey, Jinki thinks nothing of it and picks up his silverware. 

"What? You're not gonna share?" 

Kibum points to his waffle and Jinki gets redder. He cuts a small piece, making no eye contact with Kibum. He holds the fork at arm’s length and looks at the floor. He sneaks a glance at Kibum's lips careful take the whole bite in his mouth, smirking the whole time. Kibum bursts out into laughter as Jinki gets more worked up. 

"What was that for? 

"Oh, please don't act like you didn't enjoy it. I'm just having a little bit of fun."

"Well it was embarrassing."

"As embarrassing as drooling over me on stage and fighting back a hard on?" 

"I did NOT get a hard on! I don't even know you!" 

Kibum turns directly to Jinki and leans over until their faces are inches apart.

"But I make you curious, don't I?" 

Jinki feels his head about to bust as Kibum sinks into his seat laughing hysterically again. Jinki was growing annoyed with his games, what was on his mind? They finish their meal in silence, Jinki fuming and Kibum chuckling. Kibum scoots out the both holding his wallet.

"I'll pay, don't worry about it lover boy." 

Kibum walked to the counter, he seemed cheerful as he handed off a bill. Jinki finally got a good look at him in full, still breathtaking. His body was slim, wearing a jean jacket and ripped jeans. The back of his jacket is covered in drawings and patches. He stares at it trying to make out anything, his eyes drifting to Kibum's ass. Jinki realizes what he's doing and looks away in a blush. Kibum struts back to the table, making sure he was putting on a show, disappointed to find Jinki absorbed in thought.

"Well big boy, shall we dance?"

Kibum sits down on the table and runs his finger down Jinki's arm. He can feel his toned arms underneath his suit. Kibum smiles a slyly and gets up. Jinki snaps out of his thoughts and looks at the boy in front of him. 

"Well Jinki, what will it be? I can take you back to my place and let you sleep it off or I can take you home, the choice is yours."

Jinki looks at the boy in front of him, something is stirring in him. How was he different than Cindy, what made him so alluring? Jinki stands up and looks Kibum in the face. Kibum can't help but feel his heart race at his intense eye contact. Kibum reaches to wrap his arms around Jinki's neck.

"What will it be big boy?"

Jinki looks at Kibum and he blushes. He's never been this close to another man or another person to be honest. Jinki couldn't wrap his mind around how careless this boy was. Did he have no shame? The intimacy of it was too much for him. Jinki pulls away and tries his best to hide that he's blushing.

"Lemme think alright?"

"Alright. Let's decide in the car!" 

Kibum pushes through the doors of the diner, his chest feeling kind of tight. He let himself get too excited again. Before Kibum can reach the car, he feels Jinki's hand grasp his wrist. Perplexed, Kibum turned to looked at the boy behind him. His face was full of emotion and he seemed to be struggling with something. Kibum couldn't figure out what was bothering him so much.

"Wait. Promise me you won't take me home. I want to go home on my own."

Confused Kibum slides out of the hold and looks at Jinki. Jinki isn't looking at him and a sense of shame beams from him. Jinki didn't even know what he was saying, this wasn't anything. He just met this man, surely it would be fine for him to take him home. But what would his mom say if he did bring him home? Dare he say, Kibum makes him feel something other than lonely? But surely his father would piss a fit if Kibum even came near their house.

"I promise I won't take you home. You're free to do whatever you want. I'm not your keeper."

Jinki looks up at him and smiles. He doesn't know what is going through his head but he's glad to have some reassurance.

"Plus, I'm guessing you're from one of those suburbs in the north? I'm not going up there even for $4000 an hour check. I did it once and it was a big mistake. The housekeeper told on him! I almost went to jail that night. His wife was NOT happy. I learned my lesson then surely, stay in the city, it’s safer. Of course, now I don't do that."

Jinki didn't understand what he was talking about, but he decided not to press it.

"I used to turn tricks but now I'm mostly working on music. Things started getting too grimy and people kept underpaying me. I've got a good job now at the department store on 13th, the rich ladies tip really well when they like you."

"Turning tricks?"

Kibum opens his car door and hops in, Jinki following suit.

"I was a male escort let's just say that. Wasn't very fun cause I could never go to the big gala parties. Your dad must be a big hotshot, right? I'm sure some of the people he works with were my clients."

Jinki was taken back by this news. Jinki surely didn't swing that way.

"Don't get any ideas, I'm just treating you as I would a friend." 

Jinki still felt some hesitation, though he knew in his heart Kibum wasn't gonna try anything with him. In some deep part of his mind he hoped Kibum did try just to see how he would respond. He rolled down the window to clear his head, enjoying the cool air on his face and the light hum of the city. He enjoys hearing the hum of the city, its somewhat unfamiliar to him. Kibum turns up the volume on the radio and begins to sing.

_"The stars in the sky bring tears to my eyes. Their lighting my way tonight. And I haven't felt so alive, in years." (But Not Tonight, Depeche Mode 1986)_

Jinki felt a desire to sing along with him, but he doesn't know the words. Instead he hums along in hopes of getting Kibum's attention. Kibum focuses on the roads but he steals a glance at the boy in his passenger seat. His heart flutters when he sees Jinki humming along, his hair blowing in the breeze. He focuses back on the road, but his heart was still racing, shit not again.

"So, what kind of music do you like?"

Jinki snaps his head toward Kibum and looks for clues in his face. Kibum's face was focused on the road. Jinki can't read him, his thoughts start running.

"Oh, I don't know. I just listen to whatever is playing."

Kibum chuckles at his innocent response.

"Are you kidding? You have no opinion at all? What are you even doing up there in the suburbs?"

Jinki has no clue how to respond. How does one even find their own music taste? It wasn't something his parents ever really pushed. Maybe he just never really thought enough about it to listen to anything else. He did know listening to the music Kibum sings and listens to was more enjoyable than what he's heard before. Jinki was completely out of his element yet again.

"I mean my mom always listens to music from her teens and my friends just listen to the radio. I guess I never gave it much thought. How did you find this music? It's surely not the things I've heard before." 

Kibum glances over at Jinki and smiles. This boy really clueless about a lot of things, isn't he?

"Well, it all started with a fated visit to the record store when I was in my teens. I was looking in the new releases section of the store with a good friend of mine. He told me about this band called Joy Division and told me I needed their record. We had similar taste, so I trusted him, and the rest is history!"

Jinki felt his heart racing again. He talked so passionately and cool about the things he loved. Jinki had never considered that anyone could be passionate about anything other than money. It got him thinking about the things he loved and were passionate about, feeling weary when he started drawing a blank. 

"I never really considered finding things you love to be so easy. What’s it like in a record store? I've never been."

"You've never even bought a cd? Are you human? Do you even listen to music? You sound like a robot."

Kibum is dumbfounded by the words he is hearing from Jinki. Should he take him to a record store? No, they're all closed. His head is swimming with ideas and theories about Jinki. 

"No, I haven't. My mom usually just sends her assistant to do errand like that." 

"Your friends haven't gone either? What do you do for fun?" 

Jinki thinks hard on the things he does in his free time, realizing their all holdovers from his mother's careful hand. 

"I play tennis. Maybe if I'm in a better mood I'll come to eat dinner with my family in the city. Mostly I just mope around my house, reading the books in my mom's library. There was one book I loved as a kid, but my mom never read it. She let me keep it, I still reread it to this day." 

Kibum grows more intrigued by the boy in his passenger seat. 

"What was the book about even? Can't imagine a 70's romance novel to be very interesting." 

"Well it was from my mom’s pulp fiction days. It's about a poet and his assistant. They start in a pretty typical working relationship but one day the assistant finds his secret stash of poems and they're about the assistant and he confronts him about it -" 

Jinki stops in his tracks, realizing he just said too much. Kibum looks over at Jinki confused. 

"What happens next? The scandalous poet and his sexy male assistant, do they fuck?" 

Jinki looks out the window, avoiding eye contact. 

"Forget it. I knew it wasn't interesting." 

"Oh, come on don't be that way! I want to know the ending! Where did your mom even find a book like that?" 

"It wasn't my mom’s! It was just in her library. Her old assistant gave it to her, but she never read it." 

Kibum notices his defensive tone and decides to drop it. Kibum pulls up to a modest building on the edge of downtown. Jinki's never been to this side of town before, he wonders why. Kibum turns off the engine and turns to Jinki. This is the first time he sees how nervous Jinki is. Jinki flinches at the closeness of Kibum and tries to play off his nervousness. He doesn't know what to do now that he brought up the book. 

"Are you nervous?"

"N-no! I I've just never been to this side of downtown. I-I'm usually more downtown in the financial district!"

"Well of course you've never been to this part of town. This is where the boys and girls like me live!"

"And what does that mean?

"The people like me. The boys and girls who get kicked out for being "different". This is what you all would call "homo square. We call it home! Now c’mon, sitting in cars like this will surely get us a talking to from the cops."

Jinki was unsure what exactly he got himself into. His heart was racing as he opened the car door. There were people in pockets on the street, chatting and laughing. Kibum looked so comfortable here, Jinki was intrigued and intimidated by it.

"Key! You're home early! I thought for sure you were going uptown tonight!"

A woman in a short miniskirt and tall pumps runs up to Kibum and brings him in a tight embrace. She was statuesque in her big hair, long legs and bronze skin. Jinki was stunned at her beauty and couldn't help but stare.

"Oh, honey you know the boys uptown aren't worth it! Besides, I had a gig tonight."

She looks at Jinki standing sheepishly behind Kibum.

"I thought you stopped doing those kinds of gigs! Who's this hunky piece of meat?"

Jinki turns a deep shade of red and keeps his head down.

"Oh no he's just a friend from the bar we played tonight. He's a runaway, I'm taking care of him for the night."

Kibum continues chatting with her as Jinki just stands and watches. The charisma oozes off of Kibum so easily, it is effortless for him to be engaging and lively. Jinki did not know someone could ever be so dynamic even in such a small conversation. Kibum hugs her goodbye and they make their way to the entrance of his building. The elevator ride up was quiet, Jinki is deep in thought and Kibum is wondering what the state of his apartment is. Maybe he'll turn on some music, that seems to bridge the gap between them. The elevator opens and Kibum gets out first, Jinki quickly behind. They walk up to the door and Kibum unlocks the door. The apartment is modest, a small kitchen and windows on the far all giving a peak of the city. The walls are lined with posters and magazine clippings, all related to the musical artists he likes. There's a CD player in the corner and a bookshelf covered in stickers. Kibum is currently flipping through his collection and Jinki fully walks in. His bedroom was bigger than this, he felt a ping of guilt hit him.

"Make yourself at home. I've got some alcohol in the freezer and juice in the fridge. Bathroom is the door on the right. I've got cereal in the cabinet, no promises on milk though."

Kibum gestures as he begins to settle on a cd to play. Jinki flops down on the worn couch and looks up the ceiling. He shouldn't get comfortable here, he's leaving first thing in the morning. He shouldn't get attached to this boy.

"I'm sorry for earlier in the car. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Jinki thought as his head spins. He's trying not to get up and leave right now, he should have never agreed to this. He doesn't want to be rude, but he doesn't want to be rude. 

"Hmmm I guess I'll pick. I played The Smiths at the club! I'll play more of them if you'd like!"

Kibum pops a CD in and begins to walk over to Jinki. He looks joyful as he begins moving to the rhythm. Jinki sits up and watches him. His eyes trail every limb of his body as he gets closer. His heart starts beating faster as Kibum beacons him to join him in this moment.

"C’mon Jinki, it's no fun if it's just me! Dance with me!"

Kibum reaches for Jinki's hands but he pulls them away. Kibum frowns and stops dancing.

"What's the matter? Is the song choice bad? I can change it at any time."

Jinki gets up from the couch and looks Kibum in his eyes.

"I really should be going now. I really appreciate all you've done for me, but it would be wrong for me to stay. I enjoyed this night though!"

Jinki begins to walk toward the door but Kibum catches his wrist. 

"C’mon just relax! The buses stopped running like 2 hours ago, and it's not safe to be out this late by yourself. You can stay as long as you want."

Jinki slides his wrist out of the hold and looks at Kibum. Where would he even go if he did leave? He doesn't even know where he is let alone how to get home. It might just be better to stay here for the night.

"Now c'mon and dance with me. I like this song!"

Kibum begins dancing around the room, circling Jinki with a big smile on his face. Jinki slowly begins to move with the rhythm of the song and carefully watched Kibum. His heart is still racing, he can't seem to calm down. Kibum sings along with the song while laughing. He couldn't help it, Jinki was so awkward. Jinki was slowly warming up to the music, letting his body move to the rhythm. He feels so awkward at first but now is slowly warming up to Kibum finally. Kibum reaches out his hand but Jinki pretends to ignore it. Kibum grabs his hands and begins to entice him to dance with him. Kibum pulls Jinki closer and places his hands on his body. Jinki didn't know how to feel with the smaller boy in his arms. He enjoyed the warmth he gave off, but he couldn't help but feel awkward in this embrace. He didn't know what to do being so close another man.

"Come closer. You're in my home, we don't have to be strangers anymore."

Kibum moves closer in and lays his head on Jinki's shoulder and wraps his arms around his waist. Jinki flinches at the touch but Kibum doesn't budge. They both sways along to the song, letting the silence bridge the gap between them. Kibum is all too familiar with the feeling of being in someone's arms, this time he finally felt comfortable in the arms he was in. Jinki didn't know how to feel with the boy in his arms, he didn't feel like the girls he had danced with before. Well of course they didn't he's a guy, but something was telling him that wasn't the only reason. They stay like that a while, for the first time in the night they both were on the same page. Something about this interaction felt different and new. 

_"Let me get what I want, lord knows it would be the first time. " (Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths 1986)_

Kibum softly coos in Jinki's ears as Jinki lays his head on his. Jinki closes his eyes and let himself get lost in the warmth of the boy in his arms. Kibum sinks a little deeper into him and clings tighter. 

"Kibum. My real name is Kibum." 

Jinki lifts his head and looks Kibum in his face. This is the first time Kibum saw such a softness in his eyes. 

"That's a nice name, Kibum." 

Kibum feels a shiver run through his body hearing his name. Kibum looks into Jinki's eyes and sees an intensity there. Jinki leans down and meets Kibum with the softness of his lips. Kibum returns the favor and feels the eagerness from the other side. He pulls away gently and looks into Jinki's eyes. The softness in his eyes is replaced with passion. 

"Holy shit." 

"First time?" 

Still in each other’s arms, they share another kiss. This kiss felt different. Kibum wrapped his arms around Jinki's neck while Jinki's hands moved lower on Kibum's body. Kibum couldn't fully contain the eagerness of the boy in his arms. He tries to keep his composure, a force of habit from his escort days. Jinki pulls away to breathe and they look at each other, the air in the room has completely changed. Jinki wants to break the silence but he isn't sure what is going on in the first place. Kibum knows exactly what is going on, but he waits for Jinki. 

"I just kissed you. What does this mean?" 

"Have you wanted to do that all night?" 

"I guess." 

"You don't have to think about it, just enjoy this night. Tomorrow you can go back to your life and forget about me." 

Jinki looks at Kibum and takes his face in his hands. 

"I'll never forget you or this night." 

He kisses Kibum deeply and hold him close. Something in him broke, the years of questioning down the drain. He knew this moment was the first in his life that felt right. He pulls away and sits back down on the couch and looks at Kibum. His heart is racing, every inch of his body feels hot, he doesn't know what is happening to him. Kibum is fighting the urge to crawl in his lap and make him feel good. They both stared each other down, unsure what to do next. The tension in the room is heavy. It feels like an eternity before anyone makes a move. Jinki reached for Kibum's hand and brought him over to him, letting him sit on his lap. Kibum takes it a step further and straddles his lap, placing each of Jinki's hands on his back. Even though Kibum had been in this position many times he still felt awkward, Jinki was a whole new sensation for him. 

"I'll be honest it’s been a while." 

Kibum kisses the boy underneath him hard, wanting to close the gap between them. Jinki grips Kibum tighter and presses him deeper into him. The feeling of their bodies touching was overwhelming for him, he wanted more of Kibum. He was fully intoxicated by him. Kibum runs his hands through Jinki's hair and moans into the kiss. 

"What was that?" 

Jinki breathes into the kiss, detaching his lips from Kibum's. 

"What are you talking about?" 

"That noise you made?" 

"My moan? What about it?" 

Kibum starts nipping at Jinki's ear, leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw. 

"Do it again." 

Kibum stops and sits up to look at Jinki, with his hair messed up and a slight flush to his cheeks he looks downright edible. Kibum eyes him a little longer, man he missed this. 

"You want me to moan more?" 

"Yes." 

Jinki grips Kibum's harder and it takes everything in Kibum not to moan right there. He bites his lip and eyes Jinki. 

"I was gonna rip into you, but I take it this is your first time?" 

Jinki wants to be offended but Kibum is right. Kibum returns to Jinki's jaw, kissing and biting, waiting to see him slowly fall apart.

"You don't have to tell me, I already know. I can feel how hard you're getting underneath me." 

Kibum grinds down on him, trailing kisses back up to his mouth. Kibum gently slides his tongue in Jinki's mouth and Jinki takes it greedily. He desperately wants to close any gap between them. They both desperately want to leave the other breathless, wanting to feel them all over their body. Kibum keeps his slow pace on top of Jinki, rubbing their hard on’s together through their pants. Jinki groans at the friction, he has never felt this good and wanted more of him. Kibum grinds down harder and they both moan into the kiss. 

"I have an idea." 

Kibum slides out of Jinki's lap and onto the floor. Jinki watches him as he reaches for the buckle on his pants. His breath is ragged as Kibum makes a show out of taking him out his pants. His hard on looks so obscene in Kibum's hands he thought as he slowly started stroking him. It isn't long before a string of obscenities left Jinki's mouth. 

"Such a dirty boy you are, all worked up before the show."

Kibum smirks as he lightly kisses the tip, making sure he has Jinki's full attention. This is the same look from the diner, sly, like a fox about to enjoy his dinner. Kibum licks the tip and watches as Jinki begins to fall apart. He grips Kibum's hair hard and he slowly takes more of him in his mouth. He begins bobbing his head slowly, to drive him wild. Jinki can hardly contain himself, wanting so bad to go deeper into Kibum's mouth. Kibum moves faster on Jinki and lets him hit the back of his throat and moans around him. Jinki throws his head back and curses under his breath. He knows he's close to blowing his load already. Embarrassed he tries to warm Kibum, but he's overcome with the wave of his orgasm. He cums hard into Kibum's mouth. Horrified he looks at Kibum and watches as he swallows the whole load. Jinki stares in awe as Kibum opens his mouth to show it’s all gone and lays his head on Jinki's legs. 

"Kiss me." 

Jinki is hesitant but leans down to capture Kibum's lips, letting his tongue slide into his mouth and taste himself on his mouth. It felts incredibly erotic to taste himself in the mouth of someone else. Kibum seems unfazed and kisses back, matching the passion. Jinki couldn't get over how effortlessly seductive Kibum was. Kibum stood up, the air was awkward again. Jinki didn't know what to do next, he couldn't just Kibum go untouched after giving him the blow of a lifetime. Jinki puts his junk away, looking away embarrassed. Kibum sits down next to Jinki, his own hard on visible through his jeans. Jinki didn't know how to suck someone off but he did know how to jack off. He looks at Kibum and reaches for his belt. Kibum reaches for his hands and pushed him away. 

"I can do it myself." 

Kibum begins to unbuckle his jeans and smirks at Jinki. He pulls out himself out of his underwear and looks at Jinki in the eyes. Jinki's heart is racing as he reaches out to touch him and slowly begins to stroke him. Kibum sighs at the contact and bucks into his hand. 

"Fuck, it’s been a while." 

Jinki slowly increases his speed as Kibum starts losing composure. He was falling apart in his hands. Jinki watched in awe as Kibum tried his best not to make too much noise, biting his lips and fingers. 

"It’s okay, I like the way you sound." 

Kibum looks over at Jinki, his face is flushed a bright red. Jinki leans in to give him a kiss as he continues to stroke faster. Kibum moans into the kiss, trying his best not to bite Jinki's mouth. Jinki trails kisses all over Kibum's jaw and ears, Kibum was an absolute mess. 

"Come on lemme hear you, I know you feel good." 

Kibum moans and throws his head back, trying his best not to cum just yet. Jinki continues kissing all over Kibum's neck, the noises in the room getting obscener. Kibum was getting louder, he was getting close, precum dripping all over Jinki's hands. Jinki teases the slit and Kibum is driven over the edge. He cums ribbons over Jinki's hand, huffing and moaning. He looks over at Jinki, completely debauched. Jinki wanted to impress Kibum so he took a lick of his hand. Kibum takes it from him and makes eye contact as he cleans his hand, making a show of it. Oh no fair, Jinki thought. Kibum situated himself back into his underwear. They both sat in silence for a while, taking in what had just happened. Kibum looks over at the clock, he has a surprise planned.

"Come on it's almost time!"

Jinki looks over at Kibum confused as he grabs his shoes.

"I've got a surprise for you c'mon!"

Confused, Jinki goes to gets his shoes. Kibum is smiling wide as he opens the door ushering Jinki out. Kibum locked the door and they take the elevator up to the top floor. There's an extra stairwell up to the roof. Kibum opens the door and begins to run to the top, egging on a race. Jinki lets him win, laughing the whole way up.

"Close your eyes!" 

Kibum takes Jinki's hand leads him out on the roof. They walk a little ways and then stop. 

"Okay open your eyes!" 

Jinki opens his eyes and sees a beautiful city landscape in front of him, the sun beginning to kiss the sky.

"Tada! A perfect view of the sunrise!" 

Kibum stretches his arms toward the rising sun with a big smile on his face. Jinki strolls up to him and takes him in his arms. They stay like this as the sun rises over the horizon, a brand-new day had come. Jinki glances down at Kibum and presses their lips together. They share a long kiss, wrapped up in the joy of sharing this moment together. Jinki can hardly believe this what happened to him since he got kicked out of his father’s birthday party. He thought he'd wind up somewhere up town being hit on by the snooty rich girls that lived in the high rises. Instead he's in the arms of a boy on the lower west side after giving him a hand job in his apartment. This felt life some distant fantasy he thought of really late at night when everyone was asleep. Nevertheless, he doesn't regret any part of his night. Being here in his arms somehow felt more peaceful than anything he'd experienced in his life. Kibum feels a deep sense of joy being this close to someone again, it’s been such a long time since he was held. As the sun rises, they both can't help but feel a sense of dread, their time together for this night was over. Jinki had to go back to his cushy life in the suburbs, filled with fakeness and homophobia. He needs to go home and apologize to his mom and pretend everything is normal for his mom and his father. Kibum could see the worry on his face when he realized this might be the end of their time together. 

"Come on I have something to give you." 

Kibum leaves Jinki's embrace as he takes Jinki's hand and leads him back downstairs. Jinki can't imagine what he has for him. Kibum unlocks the apartment and b lines for the radio player. Jinki takes this opportunity to look at his apartment in day light. The space is small, but cozy. Much cozier than his own room. 

"Found it!" 

Kibum walks toward Jinki with a cd in his hands. Jinki looks down at the cd, the cover says, 'for special occasions'. 

"This is yours now. Maybe now you can start your own music journey." 

Jinki takes the cd and holds it close to him. This cd means a lot more to him then he cared to admit, Kibum meant more to him than he cared to admit. Kibum plants a kiss on his cheek and then they stand in silence. 

"You know I probably have to go soon. I have a feeling my mom is looking for me." 

"Well pretty boy, should I call you a cab? I'm sure there's one downstairs from the girls coming home." 

Kibum takes Jinki's hand as they leave the apartment. The elevator ride down was a steamy one, touching and kissing all the way down. When they arrived on the first floor, they walked slower leaving the building, neither one wants this night to end. Alas it is unrealistic to think they could keep this up. Kibum flags down a taxi dropping off a couple across the street. Jinki gets into the taxi, surely the fee is going to be killer. He ignores it and takes Kibum into his arms one last time. He kisses him passionately and Kibum can't help but feel swept up in the feeling of the boy in his arms. He's intoxicated by him and his aura. Jinki lets him go and looks into his eyes one last time.

"Kibum, thank you for this night, I will never forget it." 

Kibum smiles and steps out of his arms and watches as he steps into the taxi. A ping of sadness hits Kibum in the stomach, he realizes now how special this night really was. How special Jinki really was to him. He tries to hide the sadness in this face as Jinki closes the door and rolls the window down. 

"So when will I see you again?" 

Kibum looks at him and smirks. 

"Whenever you want, you know where to find me." 

The taxi pulls off as Jinki waves at him one more time. Kibum watches it drive away as he heads back to his apartment. Jinki watches as the taxi pulls off and Kibum walk into his apartment building. Jinki clings to the cd in his hands and braces for the storm that is sure to come when he arrives home. He settles into the seat and closes his eyes. When he wakes up, he finds himself in front of his home, the taxi driver's hands open waiting for pay. Jinki reaches into his pocket and places the money in his hand, peeling himself from the seat. He steps out the taxi and watches it drive away, his mother's morning running shoes hitting the pavement behind him. 

"It's about time you came home I was worried sick! You want to give me a heart attack! None of your friends could find you! Don't ever disappear like that again! Get inside quickly and change before your father sees you!" 

She pushes past him and begins her jog around the neighborhood, her assistant not far behind. He trudges into the house, seeing the housekeeper hard at work cleaning up the living room from his mother's morning pacing. Looks like she didn't break anything this time, but she definitely spilled her coffee. He continues upstairs to his room, not bothering to look at anything else. He felt an immense pressure on him as he reached the top floor. He opens the door to his room, the familiar smell of the carpet freshener hitting him. He begins to strip out of his clothes from the evening, the housekeeper was gonna have a fit at the state of the clothes. He takes a good look at himself in the mirror and sees the hickeys Kibum conveniently left on his neck and his eye bags, he looked tired. After a quick shower he picks up the cd from his clothes. He holds it up and finds the portable cd player his mom gave him last year. He lays down on his bed and puts the headphones on.

_"I don't have much in my life but take it it's yours." (Unlovable The Smiths 1987)_

Jinki rolls over and falls asleep. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably the longest and most self indulgent thing I've ever written. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
